Attachment parenting (no schedule for sleeping, breastfeeding on-demand for as many years as you can, NO spanking-only positive reinforcement, wear your baby all the time-aka breaking your back, sleep with your kids & be tuned in 24/7 to you child's needs) is all the rage in parenting and I HAVE NO IDEA WHY...maybe it's a secret conspiracy to keep Americans from having more than 1 child so the more reproductive cultures can easily take over ours. It's totally for the birds. I read all "the" parenting books when we were expecing Anna Kate and chose to do it with her...she was the 1st child and so I didn't know any better. Then I did it with J.R. so we wouldn't be stuck at home all time as a slave to a schedule and I should have known better. He turns 1 in a few days and sleeps through the night thankfully, but has NO SCHEDULE for sleeping during the day, so you never know when he may just get tired and therefore fussy, usually he's good-natured, but babies need to sleep during the day! So while we were on vacation my mom got him on this scedule of sleeping 9-11 and 3-5 every day, but now that I'm back home, he doesn't sleep at all ever during the day!!! Discipline and schedules give you freedom...I acquiess (sp?). But how do I do it? Attachment parenting is all I know and it's hard to change it all up this late in the game...I can tell you one thing for sure, our future children will be raised using the Babywise method...which is the EVIL antithesis of attachment parenting. Any of the families that I ask the moms, "What did you do...I want my kids to be just like yours!!!" use Babywise...but I still always felt that attachment parenting was more my speed and hoped for the best. You live and learn and meanwhile it stinks your can't learn then live.
He finally passed out during dinner from exhaustion. Then went to bed and woke up in the middle of the night ready to finish his dinner. I went to bed right after dinner, as well.
Oh, and did I mention Anna Kate was shooting chunks out both ends yesterday like crazy? :( She got the virus that was going around family camp during our vacation. I think J.R. and I are next.
12 comments:
Hi April! How fun to see your blog. I saw it listed on facebook. :) I had to comment on your sleep entry. I read Babywise when prego with Libby, and followed it to a large degree. But I also read a FABULOUS book called, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby" by Marc Weissbluth. Several other friends of ours follow his methods and we all have wonderfully sleeping kiddos. I always love to recommend it. And, I think the way he sets up the book, you could jump in at age 1 and get JR where you want him to be, and not have to wait until baby 3 to try a new method. Anyway, so fun to catch up with your fam. Your kids are so adorable and I loved seeing the pics of the Graves! You can keep track of us on our similar site, lifeoflibby.blogspot.com.
Hope you are well! heidi and brian
Hey April,
I used a combination of "Baby Wise" and "Happiest Baby on the Block." I believe that there are "toddler" versions of both of these books as well. Using a lot of the Baby Wise stuff had Pierce sleeping through the night at 8 weeks, so I swear by it, although, I did not do every single thing he suggested.
April,
Hey I hope you are not sick... our family camp had the same crazy virus which of course I got while in CO. Yuck! I did a schedule with both kids it is the one thing that I guess we've done right that has been successful for sure. Anna is a sleeper by nature and Ellie is not so much, but until she turned 2 1/2 she napped every day with little fight. Anna has never fought and loves to sleep. I think you could try it with JR, but maybe start with just one nap a day when you think he is the most tired. It will take some work and crying, but if you stick with the same time everyday when it is convenient it will happen. We should chat about this stuff sometime. I really only feel tied down at home from 1:30-5:00 which we are exhausted by that point anyways and we've always been more laid back with bed-time etc... cause of our crazy night time schedules with church. We may not be able to come to JR's party. I will email ya, but I love his invite!
ps- Ellie just cried for 20 minutes, but she is asleep now! Whoooohoo!
I don't know you (I was referred to your blog by Holly Shelton), and I don't have any children, but I am about to have my first and highly recommend taking some of the Growing Kids God's Way classes. You can go to www.kingdomparenting.org - it's the local community of babywise folks. They have classes for all ages - while it's easiest to start with newborns - it's never too late!
Hey April! Holly Shelton sent some of us mothers to your site because she thought it was an interesting topic. I can tell you that I did not know any different either with our son Clay. I heard about Babywise after Clay was 7 months old, but I felt so awful letting him cry it out. After Clay turned one year old, was not taking naps, and was still waking up several times a night, I knew we needed to do something. I actually turned to Babywise, the Sleep Habits book recommended in previous comment, and a few others and put Clay on a schedule. In literally a week he was a brand new baby. He is now two and still takes a good afternoon nap and sleeps through the night most nights. It is worth it. We aren't rigid about the schedule but try to keep somewhere close to it. i have been there and know it is hard, but it is possible. Good luck!
I realize I have no authority as a parent when it comes to this comment, but the "attachment parenting" you described sounds like exactly the OPPOSITE of what I teach parents in therapy (except for the positive reinforcement part - which is also to be supplemented with consequences other than spanking). Also, the "healthy sleep habits, happy baby" is all the rage here in Chicago - the author of that book has his practice here and all the moms I know go see him. They LOVE him and sear by that book!
can you believe how many comments you're getting on this post?! i wish i got this kind of action! clearly i need to blog about something more meaningful than what we did last weekend. :)
Hi, my name is Tasha Via. I am friends with Holly Shelton, that's how I found you. We have a 3 and a 2 year old. We travel full-time leading worship in different venues so I know this can work with even the most flexible schedule! But, oddly enough, the schedule is what has saved us. It has been so freeing to KNOW what to expect from the kids. AND it is never too late to start=) My older sister already had 1 child and her second 1 came along 1 month before my first. We had already decided to do Babywise and Areyna basically put herself on the schedule with a little guidance. My sister was shocked by the way she acted and slept. She asked how I did it and told her about Babywise. She started her second one on the schedule when he was around 11 months and it took some adjusting but IT WORKED! I have never heard anyone say that they wished they had never done a schedule. I think you are on the right track. It takes some diligence and def. lots of consistency, but you'll be surprised how quickly he'll pick it up! Good luck.
Oh I have read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child...Heidi recommended it when we were in Virginia and it SAVED US with Anna Kate b/c she was 10 months and waking up in the night and not napping reliably in the day and it worked perfectly with her...I've tried it with J.R. at different stages and he's always seemed to resist sleep so vehemently that it didn't work (we're talking crying 2 hours solid during the entire "nap-time" and he just breaks me when it's going on 30-45 minutes the next day so I just get him out and we abandon the nap thing). Then Jon's dad told me people in his family need very little sleep so I thought he was one of those types and there was nothing I could do. So he's gone this long without any reliable day naps and many days 30 minutes or less of sleep the whole day. I think the good thing about Babywise is that it is followable from birth and gets you on the right track whereas when J.R. was born it was my plan to follow HSHHC, but it was overwhelming to try to follow b/c it's verbose and difficult to find the exact advice for the exact age-stage that you are supposed to be following. Actually J.R. is sleeping right now and yesterday from 9-11a, but only napped 30 minutes in the afternoon. He's just not one that I've been able to let him cry-it-out and voila! he's scheduled. maybe i should be reading Dobson's "Strong-willed child" book ;)
oh and did anyone get the bird thing? my husband didn't get it and that makes me feel weird...i meant that attachment parenting was for the birds so that's why it equals a vast winged conspiracy.
thanks SO MUCH for all your thoughts and help!!! i really hope to get him ideally dropping the morning nap and sleeping in the afternoon at the same time as Anna Kate here soon...
i registered to be on the waiting list for the next available toddler "growing kids god's way" aka babywise class. thanks!
hi again. you're right that libby is getting so big, as is anna kate, who was just a little little one when we left VA! please feel free to link to our site, and do you mind if i do the same to yours? i love being able to keep in touch with everyone via blogs. it's fun to have the pictures to accompany the "what we're up to" stories. hope you have a great weekend - filled with good naps. :)
Don't know if you'll get this since you posted so long ago, but I just wanted to validate your feelings a little bit! I read babywise with Hudson and no matter what I did, it just didn't work with him. He is his own person and has his own ideas :) I ended up being more frustrated because Hudson wasn't "doing what he was supposed to do." I tried again to schedule with Avery and she is just naturally an easier baby to schedule and she sleeps like a dream :) I said all that to say, if you are unhappy with attachment parenting then it is not for you. The point of it is to make you happy. If babywise and strict scheduling make you happy, then do that. I finally after reading Babywise, read The No Cry Sleep Solution. Total opposite ends of the spectrum. Now, I use a few things from each book to find a medium and way that works for me- that makes me AND my children happy. The only advice I try to give parents at all is this- find what works for you and do it! :)
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